My desk calendar is covered with doodles because I have nothing going on.

So when God came by the other day and asked if he could borrow my flash drive, I became quite irate.
"You know, they're only, like, twenty bucks for 2 gigs." I then retracted, "Actually, I haven't bought one in a long time. I think they give out 2 gigs for free nowadays. Just go to a conference or sign up for a free checking account. I'm sure they'll give you one."
He just stared at me like I was insane. Then he grinned. "I like using your shitty 156 megabyte one with the broken cap."
"Whatever," I said as I handed him the flash drive. "I just don't see how it could possibly be worth paying for the bus every time you need it and hauling your ass over here. Just go buy one."
"I don't think this is about a flash drive," he suspected. "I think you don't like me coming over here. Hey, is that Chex Mix?"
"Yeah," I said.
Then God barged into my apartment and started eating my Chex Mix.
"Dude. Don't eat them all."
"I wont." He said. Then he started breathing in through his nostrils as he munched on them. I waited and watched as he held the open bag to his lips and slid the last of the salty garlicy Chex Mix into his mouth. He looked at me knowing full well that he was pissing me off but he just smiled. I think he liked it when I was mad.
I didn't say anything. What could I say to him? He was just standing there.
"What do you need the flash drive for this time, anyway?"
"Oh, same shit." God said. "I'm just uploading some stuff on the other computer and it's quicker than burning them or e-mailing them to myself."
"Yeah..."
God stood, picking the Chex Mix out of his molars with his tongue for a minute.
"Well," he said. He smacked his tongue on his teeth. "See ya." Then he walked out and disappeared down the hall, dragging the torn ends of his jeans on the carpet as he went.

Needless to say, I really hate God sometimes.